Sponge bath it is.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
