That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
