Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
