and next time when you feel me up, do it right
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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