How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
