Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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