so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
