They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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