yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
