I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
