I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Vodka?
Forever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
