i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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