Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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