you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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