im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
