morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
