She announced her abortion via fbk
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
