god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just had sex bonerless
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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