The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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