have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
