arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Come on in and take your pants off
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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