Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
