Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
