My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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