At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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