New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize