He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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