if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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