I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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