i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think I am morally bankrupt
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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