I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
