He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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