so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
