Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
