so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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