No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
