he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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