Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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