he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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