she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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