i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
