gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
