Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The ass gains better be worth it
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