You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
