whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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