I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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