Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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