I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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