I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The Olympian is in my bed
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
