i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
