Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
