I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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