u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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