Rock
Scissors
Fuck
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
