I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
