i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize