It's just like the Real World with babies
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
