I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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