I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
